The Announcement

In game announcement that is. I'm about to kick off my Labyrinth Lord play-by mail game, and here's the announcement I sent out to the players:

In the name of Thambar the Prudent, Lord of Hembard Wilds, Defender of Highcliff Keep, Recognized Lord of the Peerage of the Kingdom of Jal, Meisterburger of Auslaug, Hustwood, and Brekkevale, TAKE HEED: The following ANNOUNCEMENT has been announced:

Be it KNOWN: It as come to our attention that some ONE or some THING has crept its way past the border guard (unsurprising, given the low rate of pay), and taken up residence within the realm of Hembard Wilds. Said person or thing (or persons or things) have engaged in LAWLESS acts of LAWLESSNESS, including, but not limited to, theft, burning, drinking alcohol during proscribed hours, pillaging, spitting in public, rape, murder, torture, hen tossing, and general MAYHEM. This will not do.

Royal huntsmen, in the service of Thambar the Prudent, Lord of Hembard Wilds, Defender of Highcliff Keep, Recognized Lord of the Peerage of the Kingdom of Jal, Meisterburger of Auslaug, Hustwood, and Brekkevale, have endeavored to track these malefactors (possibly kobolds) to their lair, a task which they have rightfully and justly accomplished (though they were unable to confirm the actual presence of kobolds, entering caves and caverns not being in their contract).

With this new intelligence at hand, Thambar the Prudent, Lord of Hembard Wilds, Defender of Highcliff Keep, Recognized Lord of the Peerage of the Kingdom of Jal, Meisterburger of Auslaug, Hustwood, and Brekkevale, has authorized an EXPEDITION. To wit: A gathering of heroes (or whatever scraggly types the guard can dig out of the jails and drunk tanks) shall be gathered, and given the task of seeking out these evildoers (they probably are kobolds, I mean the tracks were the right shape and everything). Said heroes shall be granted full rights to all TREASURE and PLUNDER (save for a small tax levied by Thambar the Prudent, Lord of Hembard Wilds, Defender of Highcliff Keep, Recognized Lord of the Peerage of the Kingdom of Jal, Meisterburger of Auslaug, Hustwood, and Brekkevale to benefit the widows and orphans of the recent violence) recovered during the course of the expedition.

FURTHERMORE, participants shall receive a bounty of 5 gold pieces per head for each villain turned over to the chief of the guard at Highcliff Keep (kobold heads preferred, but other evil beings allowed, head to gold rate subject to approval by local authorities, no dwarf, human, elf, or halfling heads accepted — ever).

ALSO, all parties who join this noble mission on behalf of Thambar the Prudent, Lord of Hembard Wilds, Defender of Highcliff Keep, Recognized Lord of the Peerage of the Kingdom of Jal, Meisterburger of Auslaug, Hustwood, and Brekkevale, and who SURVIVE, shall have their name etched upon a memorial stone, which shall be placed in the square of Auslaug (but not in the middle, probably off to the south side, next to the stable), and FURTHERMORE shall be granted the honorary rank of HONORED CITIZEN (rank implies no specific honor or benefit, offer may be void for known felons or hen tossers).

ALL interested parties shall gather at the hour of DAWN tomorrow in the Auslaug square to be sworn in as member of the EXPEDITION TO THE COLD CAVES (tea and cakes provided by Thambar the Prudent, Lord of Hembard Wilds, Defender of Highcliff Keep, Recognized Lord of the Peerage of the Kingdom of Jal, Meisterburger of Auslaug, Hustwood, and Brekkevale, one cup and one cake per person, two each for halflings).

In the name of Thambar the Prudent, Lord of Hembard Wilds, Defender of Highcliff Keep, Recognized Lord of the Peerage of the Kingdom of Jal, Meisterburger of Auslaug, Hustwood, and Brekkevale: So let it be written. So let it be done.

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